My memory of this verse is so clear, I could practically hear our high school choir sing the hymn as I played around on Illustrator last week, trying to get the image for our lock screen just right.
As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee. You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship Thee...
I think I sang it so many times through the years though, the impact of it's deep candor no longer held much meaning for me.
Does that happen to you, too?
You sing the words and yet don't even pay attention to what those words are actually saying. It's like when you drive home only to realize you're suddenly in the driveway. Yet because your thoughts were elsewhere, you have no idea how you got there in the first place. Not that that's ever happened to me or anything.
But ohhhh how I do long for Him! If I'm going to be honest, there are times where I crave and long for Him more intensely than others.
I don't like to admit that, but it's true.
Right now though, it's quiet. Elsabet is sleeping, Laith is with his tutor, and the rest of the kids are at school. I can sit here in my favorite chair, latte in hand (my second of the day), and feel such a flood of love for our Savior.
I love Him and I trust Him. I understand when He says "No" or "Yes" or "Wait". Well, no...I may not completely understand it, but I've experienced such grace and goodness from Him that in the very depths of my heart I know He has a fantastic plan and I yearn for that.
Of course I long for Him, even through the busyness and the craziness of the day. I strive to, I really do.
I may have more time to stop and think about that depth and longing in the sweetness of the quiet, but I'm so glad He knows the deep recesses of my being. He knows my attempts, my efforts, my successes and failures in spending time with Him.
But what I do need, is to make sure I take the time in that quiet. To reflect and pray and thank our Lord. It needn't be long...because I never have long.
But in those quick moments when I'm stirring over the stove, or waiting for the kids to tie their shoes, or even when I'm taking a shower, I want not zone out, but rather strive to tell Him of that longing and remind myself that...
You alone are my strength, my shield. To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.
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